Monday, November 16, 2009

“The ladies’ is broken”: A tale from the road.

It had been a long, hot day on the road through the southern Prairies – mile after mile of absolutely nothing on the horizon, with only the odd tree or ramshackle homestead to break the monotony. It was harvest time and the dust was everywhere, in every crevice and pore even under the eyelids… especially under the eyelids. I felt like I’d just done 300 miles in a sand blaster and when we finally pulled into a campground for the night all I wanted was a nice long shower, and a beer. In that order.
After registering and getting our tent set up and our gear unpacked, Miz Liz headed off in search of a couple of cold beers and I headed to the bathrooms.
The hut was typical campground chic – cement floor with peeling green paint, urinals and toilets down one side, sinks on the other, and 2 shower stalls at the end, both of which were occupied.
I didn’t expect the wait to be very long, so I started getting ready. And that’s how it happened that I was wearing only a towel – around my neck – when the first stall opened and this absolutely stunning brunette stepped out.  Not being the first time in my life I’d stumbled into the wrong bathroom, my first reaction was to make sure I was in the right place. Yup – those were definitely urinals on the wall.
HotShower“The ladies’ is broken” she said as she nonchalantly reached past me for her towel.
“Uh… Yeah… No problem…” I stammered as I tried not to stare too obviously at the best (and only) scenery I’d seen all day. Slowly gathering my wits I was just about to offer to help her dry her back when she said, “Hurry up hon” and out of the second shower stepped Hulk Hogan’s lost twin brother. All of six-feet-and-a-bunch he was huge; even his muscles had muscles, all covered with fine renderings of skulls, knives and assorted other examples of the tattooist’s art.
So discretion (and self-preservation) being the better part of valour I shut my mouth, averted my eyes and darted behind the curtain before he got any ideas about any ideas that I’d already got.
Later, when I returned to the campsite Miz Liz asked how the shower was. “Fine” I said, “but the ladies’ is broken” as I reached for a cold one.

19 comments:

  1. I used to sky dive and when I did I attended a Boogie (Skydiving Event) every year in Fort Dodge Iowa. The make shift airport campground had showers that were not marked as to which was male and which was female. I asked and was only told to go in and see what was in there, if you didn't like what you saw go to the other one. I did this and on the first try I found several naked women staring silently back at me as I walked out. I entered the second and found the same thing only a different group of naked women. As I turned to walk out red faced again I heard a couple of them say it was okay go ahead and shower, nobody would care. I knew one of the women and was quite shocked to here her say "Get over it Danny, get naked and get in the shower with us!" I nearly passed out, but I joined them. Somehow I managed to restrain from showing my excitement.

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  2. Danny - You "used to" skydive? With that type of benefit I'd still be falling out of the sky every chance I got. lol.

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  3. No money for it anymore. Got too expensive. That and I am married and if I did something like that again it would be the last shower I ever took.

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  4. Next time I'm on a long ride and stop at a campground I'm gonna shower before getting a beer. Or better yet take a couple to the shower with me.

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  5. AZHD - You'll never know what you were missing all these years. But the 2-beer idea is a good one.

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  6. You never do know what you are going to run into on two wheels do ya. Cool story.

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  7. Mr. M. - Thanks. That's what keeps it interesting.

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  8. You really hot me with the title to this post. I won't tell you what I thought it might be about until I read it.
    Great Post!

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  9. cpa3485 - Thanks for stopping by and weighing in.

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  10. Perfect answer! You couldn't have done better for a gentleman!

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  11. KT Did - Why thank you ma'am. (Hat tip)

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  12. Very nice post - I thought that it would be something about your motorcycle. I do the urinal check myself from time to time, just to make sure I am in the right place.

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  13. Lance - Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my ramblings. As for the urinal check, I got caught in Austria one time when I wandered into the washroom at a club, saw a bunch of women at the sinks AND urinals on the wall. Turns out it was a co-ed washroom. I don't think we'll ever get that casual about it on this side of the pond.

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  14. i love a good road story, thank you canajun :) happy holidays to you and yours!! ride safe and enjoy my friend.

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  15. Ms. M - Thank you. And a Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Hope you have a great weekend and an opportunity to enjoy at least some of it on two wheels.

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  16. Good stuff my friend, we don't get much of that here but I'll be over in US in 2011! I enjoyed reading your posts, I also saw that one wheel bike in an email, that would be a great thing at a rally for guys to try riding after a couple of ales!

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  17. Andrew - That would be something to watch all right. The face plants would be awesome!
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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  18. That shower tale is terrific - a post that I enjoyed reading. When touring, showering at the end of your days ride is a great things to do, but mine have never been THAT great!

    Gary
    http://garysusatour.blogspot.com

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  19. Gary - except for that one time, neither have mine. But we live in anticipation.
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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