Wednesday 23 May 2018

Easy as making toast.

Right. If you have a toaster. That works. Which I don’t.

According to Wikipedia, the first electric bread toaster was invented by Alan MacMasters in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1893. And (according to me) the last electric bread toaster that worked reliably was probably manufactured in the early 1900’s and looked like the one in this photo from Wikipedia:


Since then we have had to endure a steady stream of appliances that consume vast amounts of electricity, take forever to brown one side of a slice of bread and warm the other side to slightly above room temperature, and sometimes work for as long as a year before either the element burns out or the electronics flip a bozo switch and expire.

So what is it with toasters? I mean, what appliance could possibly be simpler to manufacture than a box with a heating element inside? Surely someone out there is smart enough to come up with a design that can make consistent toast (both sides) in less time than it takes to run a marathon, and can do so for years before crapping out. I’d shake that person’s hand – and pay almost any price for their toaster. But I’m not holding my breath.


Rant over.

Now I have to go and choose another piece of crap toaster (at well above piece-of-crap prices) to grace my kitchen counter and be the subject of my daily ire for a few months until the cycle repeats.



  1. Must really burn (or not)! Here's a toast to a successful mission!

  2. Sorry David,
    Our 4 slice toaster has worked well for years, even if it does take an age to brown wholemeal bread with grains in it. On the other hand, don't get me started on a powered vegetable slice which runs fine but the numerous slicing attachments fail in short order and replacements cannot be obtained. Bastards. Back to Granny's old hand grater which must be 80 years old and will grate reinforced concrete.

    1. Geoff:
      The more "modern" appliances we have the more I appreciate Granny's hand-me-downs!


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